How much suspicion is okay in a marriage? Well, none is good!
“… an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels… that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between people… But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
~ 1 Timothy 6:4-6
What might define a measure of suspicion as “obsessive” as opposed to “normal”? If “normal” is a measure of the average person, let’s remember that the “average person” is self-destructive and relationship-destructive unless they completely surrender their heart to Jesus Christ. Even then, things do not automatically get better right away, it is a lifelong journey.
So, to answer my question with another question: How much dirt does it take to make a glass of water unpleasant? So it is with a person: it only takes a little bit of suspicion to make a person unpleasant to be around.
Traits of an obsessively suspicious person might include: Eavesdropping on their spouse’s communications like emails, phone calls, and the mail box; imagining how and with whom their spouse might have an affair; discreetly interrogating the spouse’s friends and coworkers regarding the spouse’s work and social schedule and topics of recent conversations; analyzing the spouse’s bank and credit card statements for charges that would indicate their suspicions are valid; and the list goes on.
Including the above explained examples, here is a short list of behaviors (without full explanations) that can indicate an obsessively suspicious person:
Naturally, as humans our first thoughts go to other people. Who do we know that fits into this list, partially or wholly? However, as with most biblical principles for living, our first thoughts should go to ourselves, to carefully test ourselves to see if we are walking within the parameters of the Spirit of Christ, if we are “in the faith” or not.
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you, unless of course, you fail the test?”
~ 2 Corinthians 13:5
What have you examined in your own life recently? How about today on the topic of “obsessive” suspicions, or even “normal” suspicions? Let’s remember that “normal” just means “average” among others, it doesn’t mean “okay” or “acceptable” in God’s eyes.
It does not require much dirt to make a glass of water very unpleasant, and even undrinkable. For our marriage relationship let’s strive to always be pleasant and refreshing like a glass of clear, cool water on a hot day; let’s expel all of our suspicions. As we read earlier, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6)
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